you may addiced to Vegas if... very long

YOU MIGHT BE ADDICTED TO VEGAS IF:

1. You had an erotic dream last night that included Big Elvis.

2. You walk into famous footwear and yell ';Momma needs a new pair of shoes';

3. When someone says fish and chips you think of Mandalay Bay

4. All your favorite saved web sites are in the Vegas folder

5. You refer to your sister having twins as ';doubling down';

6. You can recite the payouts of 9/6 JOB,BP, and DBP but you cant remember you anniversary

7. You are actually stating to like the pirates of TI show

8. You believed Hugh Grant when he said he was only trying to get an upgrade ($20 trick)

9. You keep setting the kitchen on fire trying to make deep fried twinkies

10. Upon returning from vegas you sit in your garage with a tear in your eye watching you sprinklers listening to ';luck be a lady tonight';

11 You already have your next trip to Vegas planned and just landed in Vegas for this one.

13. Upon landing at McCarren you shout ';I%26#39;m home!';

14. You begin every story with ';Well in Vegas...'; Your friends/family/coworkers are starting to get irritated

15. You are very surprised to learn that they%26#39;ve gone and turned your favorite slot machine, Wheel of Fortune, into a TV show.

16. Your cell phone ring tone is the sound a slot machine makes when it pays off.

17. You are a on a first-name basis with some of the porn slappers in front of Planet Hollywood.

18. You refer to your bedroom at home as the ';Deluxe'; room.

19. You leave a tip for your wife when she makes the bed.

20. You post a review of the dinner your wife made you on TripAdvisor

21. 2 days before your trip to Vegas you start thinking it is only 7 days til I return home. This sickens you and you start to plan your next trip.

22. Every time you schedule two or more vacation days in a row your co-workers just assume you%26#39;re going to Vegas again

23. Almost every time people ask you where you are staying leading up to your trip, you give them a different answer because you keep finding a better rate

24. When you book a trip for April 09 in June 08 and it gets to October and you realise you just can%26#39;t wait and have to go on a last minute trip on the pretence of looking at wedding venues for the April trip.

26. No one will play board games with you anymore because you insist on setting the dice before every roll.

27. You keep calling your car insurance company every couple of days to see if the rates went down.

28. You hire someone to drive up and down your street with a billboard truck advertising a skanky erotic phone service just so you%26#39;ll feel like you%26#39;re in Vegas.

29. When the temperature in your hometown hits 100 degrees one time during the summer, you shout, ';Finally it%26#39;s pool weather!';

30. You get thrown out of your favorite bar back home for mistaking the cash register%26#39;s monitor for a video poker machine

31. You%26#39;re insulted when you actually have to pay for a beer and not just tipping a buck.

32. You have a favorite skycap at McCarran Airport.

33. You dream of being a high-roller comped in a suite by Sam at the Montecito.

34.. Between trips, you actually try to practice slot strategy on your home computer.

35. You co-workers don%26#39;t recognize you when you wear something that doesn%26#39;t shamelessly promote Vegas or a casino.

36. You like to wear a badge while walking around MGM that says: ';Ask Me! I Can Help!';

37. You check the wind forecast for Vegas the morning of your flight and try to guess on which runway you will land.

38. When people say they%26#39;re going to Paris, you encourage them to ask for a room with a view of the Bellagio fountains.

39. You don%26#39;t have dirty thoughts of naked people when you hear the word ';Strip.';

40. You answer ';tomorrow!'; or ';any time!'; to questions on TA on what is the best time to visit Vegas

41. When you come home from work and your significant other asks, How was your day honey ?

And you reply, ';almost even';

42. When your wife asks you, when are you going to cut the grass?

And you reply, ';right after this shoe

42. You name your pets Bellagio, Wynn or Mandalay

43. You insist on buying a Kia Rio after your Mitsubishi Mirage falls apart

44. You repeatedly tell your divorce attorney ';what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.';

45. When your rich aunt dies and leaves money to you in her will, you think ';Yes! Next time, a suite at the Wynn! Sweet!';

47. You watch your 4 year old play kids games on your computer and the screen reminds you video slot bonus rounds. Then you tell your wife of this finding and she calls you a loser.

48. Your kids favorite piece of clothing is a spiderman sweatshirt that says ';Las Vegas'; on the top.

49. In Vegas you can go to bed at 2AM and be wide awake at 5AM, however back home - you go to bed at 8:00PM and you are still tired when you get up at 6:00 AM to go to work

50. When watching the WPT or PPT, you prentend the hole cards is your blackjack hand and the flop is your 3 card poker hand or Let it ride starting hand, then the river and turn is your remaining card for let it ride

51. My wifes got a vegas fridge magnet, every time she goes to the fridge she touches it and says not be long now

52. #12-I am on this website everyday!!!!!!!!!

53. The majority of your vacation budget is considered ';gambling money';

54. Being miffed that you actually have to pay for a hotel room and meals in other cities.

55. Your favorite body spray smells like the tropical scent they spritz into the Mandalay Bay casino

56. You think seeing the real Eiffel Tower is a waste of time since there isn%26#39;t the possibility you%26#39;ll come back with more money than you had when you left home. (a little awkward, but I know you Vegas freaks will understand me)

57. You won%26#39;t walk six blocks to the park, but you%26#39;ll walk two miles from your hotel room to the poker tournament if the cab line is too long

58. You can%26#39;t fathom the thought that there are other vacation desinations.......(WTF is Hawaii?)

59. You don%26#39;t have real glasses at home, they are all plastic and say '; La Bayou';, or ';Coyote Ugly ';etc.

60. Your players cards are placed first in you wallet / purse.... who needs a bank card with them all the time anyway?

61. Watching Las Vegas on the Travel channel makes you home sick.

62. You train 9 months out of the year to run a marathon, when you have never ran a marathon in your life...just for an excuse to go back to Vegas

63. You find yourself waiting for the cocktail waitress while you%26#39;re working on your computer

64. Your guest towels say ';Viva Las Vegas';

65. You rather go the Mandalay Pool than the beach.

66. You play slots on line.

67. You plan your next trip the day you get back from Vegas.

68. Nobody understands why you never want to vacation anywhere else.

69. When the candy vending machine drops your change, you think of Vegas.

70. You watch CSI for the opening scenes.

8. You change to the Travel channel, if the topic is not Vegas, you change the channel.

71. Operative word of this thread being: ';Addicted';

This machine charges a $4.00 fee

if you agree to this fee press ENTER

Enter pin #

This machine charges a $4.00 fee

if you agree to this fee press ENTER

Enter pin #

This machine charges a $4.00 fee

if you agree to this fee press ENTER

Enter pin #

This machine charges a $4.00 fee

if you agree to this fee press ENTER

Enter pin #

This machine charges a $4.00 fee

if you agree to this fee press ENTER

Enter pin #

This machine charges a $4.00 fee

if you agree to this fee press ENTER

Enter pin #

72. Hey..I am not addicted, Just because I named the new hamster Jackpot...after Lotto passed away

73. You consider writing the Weather Channel demanding to know why their national map of the US doesn%26#39;t specifically point out Vegas!

74. You suddenly don%26#39;t mind hot weather if July is the only time you can get out to Vegas.

75. You correct Guns n Roses fans by saying it is not Paradise City, but Paradise *Road*... %26lt;grin%26gt;

76. You wonder how many more shows the Travel Channel can do on Vegas, then demand in writing why they stopped making them.

77. You look at all the promotions in casinos in other places and realize that the grand prizes are always for Las Vegas... funny *that*.

78. You don%26#39;t where your wife keeps the pot holders at home, but you know exactly where the Full Pay Deuces Wild machines are in your favorite Vegas casinos

79. You check the Help Wanteds in the Las Vegas Sun daily -

80. You don%26#39;t mind being trapped in an plane for four hours -

81. Security check point is no more the a nusance to the greater goal of nirvana -

82. You have a collection of the ugliest Hawaiin shirts in your closet just for Vegas ( NOTE: The count is now at 47 and few more in the near future), Plus your frequent trips are so you can ware one a day until you finish a rotation of them all in a year -

83. Hundreds of hours spent searching the web for great deals - Two 4 Ones - Special Events

84. A collection of Computer Slot Machine dicks that number over 50 (Does not include poker, just slots)

85. You change your sreen saver daily with a picture taken during a prior Vegas trip -

86. You look forward to another ten night - eleven day grind of 6:00am until 3:00am, stating you%26#39;ll rest when you get back home and to work -

87. You have actually considered or gotten a tatoo of the Vegas sign, or other Vegas landmark (I almost got the Stardust Sign on my chest at the Palms ;) -

88. Your Collection of Casino Chips and Gaming Tokens is an ice breaker when freinds and or family come over to visit :)

89. You give your children the ';value of money'; talk when they want a $75 pair of jeans, but you throw a hundred dollar bill in a machine without a second thought

90. When your wife asks you what you want for Christmas and you say tickets to Vegas and you get them. And you go

91. You just get back from Vegas and you%26#39;re back online the next day checking for deals on Allegiant and Fat Wallet.

92. You go to Wal-Mart and the greeter gives you a cart and you reach for your wallet for a tip.

93. You refill your travel case with shampoo etc. the day you get back

94. You have a photo of the MGM Grand on your fridge

95. when i go grocery shopping, i get alot of store-brand items just to save 20 cents, but i don%26#39;t even think TWICE about spending $500 on a blackjack table or $100 on a vegas show ticket

96. last time i went to vegas was in october, i just asked my wife if she wants to go later this month and she said she%26#39;s not ready to go back this soon.........so i asked my mom if SHE would go with me!

97. when i see a picture of the magic kingdom castle at disney world on tv or in a magazine, the 1st thing i think of is the Excalibur hotel in vegas. when i see ';caesar salad'; on a menu, i instantly think of caesar%26#39;s palace in vegas. when i see a pyramid on tv or in a movie, i think of the Luxor in vegas. Ok, Ok, you get the point

98. I%26#39;m going to sell my Kansas City Chiefs season tickets to someone this year just so i can have enough money to take another trip to Las Vegas

99. When your Vegas itenerary does not include sleep and you have it figured down to the minute how late you can wait to go to the airport before leaving

100. You%26#39;re daily trip to the mailbox is all about looking at your comp offers and sorting by location, month, value and what your really want.

101. You have a special basket for your comp offers.

102. Your kids know you would kill someone if they touched your comp offers

103. Your kids know don%26#39;t talk to Mom while she is looking at her comp offers.

104. Your favorite subject is bragging about your free trips before you go, but you don%26#39;t talk about that $2k free trip when you get back - as it was all free and justified - that%26#39;s why it%26#39;s free

105. When you get back from a trip every little thing reminds you of a slot machine, Deal No Deal, Southpark, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Lucy, Football (Tailgate Party), Drew Carey, Donald Trump, Wheel of Fortune, Price is Right, **xxooo**@ I can%26#39;t watch TV as all I think about is slot machines!

106. You actually thought about blowing up your picture of the Bellagio flowers in the lobby ceiling and putting it over your fire place - don%26#39;t worry my family thought I was nuts and I didn%26#39;t do it.

107. You%26#39;ve been to Vegas more than any other vaction spot, and you don%26#39;t know how many times you%26#39;ve been.

108. The last time you went you didn%26#39;t leave the casino!

109. That%26#39;s enough - I might need therapy!

110. You order in the drive thru sounds like this ';gimme a 6 %26amp; 8 with cheese'; and you can see dice starting to roll

111. You have to file for an extension on your taxes because you forgot to get your profit and loss statement from each casino.

112. Unless the comp offer postcard says ';three free nights and $50 in cash';, you throw it away.

113. You are really ticked when someone else hits on your favorite machine.

114. You know when the Jumbo Jackpot is getting high, and try to get to Vegas around that time.

115. You walk by someone playing one coin in a machine that only pays the top prizes with maximum coin and think ';rookie';.

116. The only raise you are interested in is when you happen to be holding trips or better

117. I know all the words to Viva Las Vegas.

118. My friend who DOES live in Las Vegas, calls me to find out what is new in Las Vegas.

119. I wonder why the Travel Channel hasn%26#39;t done any new Las Vegas shows and I think something is wrong when they aren%26#39;t showing old Las Vegas shows.

120. I smile when I see my Flamingo and Welcome to Las Vegas magnets each day.

121 I ONLY write with pens that I have taken from hotels in Las Vegas.

If you keep your watch on Vegas time and refuse to live on Eastern Standard Time, quite annoying to the boss when I leave work at 2 pm!

If a day without a comp offer in the mail is a bad day

If everyone keeps buying you those cute little key chains with fake casino chips on them (I started with a black, they worked me up to to an orange and now I just got a five grand one, if ONLY it was real!)

you may addiced to Vegas if... very long

you are in Dave and Busters and when an alarm go off you yell ';jackpot';.

you may addiced to Vegas if... very long

Wow! so fun, and so true!!! :)

Cute post. I enjoyed it. If only I had a trip planned..well I have two planned (Dec and Feb) but they don%26#39;t count, they%26#39;re not to Vegas! :(

Someone drives to your home to take you somewhere and upon entering his car the first words out of your mouth are: no tunnel! Swenson, please!

This is wonderful work!

How about when you sing or hum the music from your favorite slot machine, or you suddenly break out with the words ';JackPot Party'; when something good happens.

Or you walk up to a group of friends and to annouce your arrival you yell YO Eleven.

and of corse the largest file in your laptop favorites is you Las Vegas file. :-%26gt;

Holy Crap! that%26#39;s a whole lot of funny right there!

I can relate to about 75% of that... particularly the tattoo one.. yikes!

Very entertaining!

Vegas junkies unite!

Damn mudslides are missing with my not so good typing skills... duh.

Pook,

I agree that that right there is funny, I don%26#39;t

care who you are, that%26#39;s funny!

So, so true. My next trip is in 3 weeks and the following one is in June. Dates are set and my fmaily is already on notice that I%26#39;ll be away again. Boss knows too that I%26#39;m on vacation that week as well. And probably December 09 as well!!!

And yes, MY Vegas folder is larger than any thing else on this computer.

Marge

Bump up for the day shift!

Thanks mrvid, that%26#39;s hilarious! I especially like the bit about catching the house on fire trying to make deep-fried twinkies.